About
Hello! I’m Jazmin Hamilton Demler, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) living in Eugene, Oregon. I have been practicing since 2018, working with couples, families, and individuals. I currently see clients only virtually, but I am hoping to expand to offering in-person sessions in Eugene, in addition to leading Poetry Therapy groups, in the near future.
Philosophy
Erik Erikson defined love as “mutuality of devotion forever subduing the antagonisms inherent in divided function.” We exist in all relationships, with ourselves and others, carrying unique narratives, fears, and deeply ingrained beliefs about our own worth, about the trustworthiness of others, and about relationships in general. These beliefs, wired in to protect us, so often stem from our early attachments and exist outside of our awareness. They can also carry with them hosts of painful emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, and behavior tendencies that may keep us feeling alone, disconnected, rejected, numb, and hopeless as we find ourselves in the same patterns with ourselves, our partners, our friends, or others we seek to love.
I inherently view people within the context of their relationships, past and present; I believe that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools they have, and that our personal attachment histories can so often make us rigid and afraid, preventing us from making the changes that would greatly benefit our own and our loved ones’ lives. Before people begin to change, I believe they need to feel emotionally safe, heard, and validated — from that place, I see clients begin to feel open to experimenting with new ways of being in relationship with themselves and with others. This safe environment is what I seek to create with all clients, and what my clients tell me has been the greatest facilitator of their growth in our time together.
I deeply enjoy working with individuals (college age and up) and couples. I am always profoundly moved by the courage it takes for couples to participate in therapy, engaging with and confronting the fear and pain inherent in risking to love, and to authentically face what is already there between them.
With all clients, I serve as a gentle guide, a process consultant, and I lead sessions with a balance of warmth, compassion, curiosity, humor, and authenticity.
Approach to Counseling
My theories of choice are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). I love EFT for many reasons, including its research-proven effectiveness for creating long-lasting change and the reported effectiveness from couples I’ve worked with. Additionally, I love EFT because it looks at the deepest thing — attachment. Couples often report that the “tools” they have received in previous couples counseling don’t work in their moments of deepest need. In our time together, we will work to address the core of your disconnection, creating new patterns and increasing the security of your bond with one another at a fundamental level.
In addition to the theories mentioned, Interpersonal Neurobiology and Attachment Theory research inform my understanding of being human — how we’re wired and how we change. I also integrate self-compassion, mindfulness techniques, Sandtray therapy (when available), and Poetry Therapy into my work, in addition to leading occasional Poetry Therapy groups.